Ritual of Chaos - Do You Love Your Succubus?

By: Damian Lampl - 8/22/2009 5:44:33 PM

<strong><em>Ritual of Chaos</em></strong> - Do you love your succubus?
A beautiful evening in Durotar with Bronvina and her pet Diablo.

Admit it, you have a crush on your Succubus despite her butchy name. Yes, even you ladies in the audience - who would technically be witches instead of warlocks, no? At any rate, it naturally takes a certain breed of warlock porn starlet to be considered a demon seductress, so you'd think of all people (are we considering them people now?) they'd be the ones to best understand the importance of a good name. With that common knowledge, who chose Bronvina? It connotes images of Azeroth's Strongest Woman Competition instead of a sexy devil; not that Azeroth's Strongest Woman Competition... er... competitors... aren't sexy devils in some weird at-least-she-works-out kind of way, right? Dwarf chicks FTW, amirite? RIGHT? But we're stuck with Bronvina so we just have to get over it. GET. OVER. IT.

Bronvina has been with us for nearly five years now but few of us have yet to figure out how to properly use her skills. That may be partly due to the fact we've summoned her about three times since first braving a run through a level 25 zone and even some level 30ish mobs (she better be f---ing worth it) to "acquire" her "services" before realizing she makes for a horrible tank. But even still, don't you sometimes wish you had a reason to take her out on the town for some mindless slaughtering? As it sits we usually don't have that reason other than her great voice acting and the fact she provides a nice eye-candy upgrade over the brainless blue genie and rhino-man-axe...thing that isn't even available for another 30 levels.

So when SHOULD we use her instead of the somersaulting whiner or silent puppy? Aside from those really lonely nights (ba-dump-bump-low-quality-cymbal-crash-sound-from-a-free-sound-effect-site-that-hasn't-updated-its-design-since-1998) her obvious purpose is crowd control. Yes, your ugly mug is usually all the crowd control needed but sometimes the situation calls for a little extra "oomph."

PVP

We'll start with PVP implications because "P" comes before "E" in the alphabet. Battlegrounds are the most likely source of the bulk of your PVP action so we'll discuss what to do in Arena matches. Still following? No? Good.

It should be quite obvious by this point in the rambling that if you have your Succubus out in the Arena, you'll be expected to decommission one of your opponents. Which one? That one. Make sure to discuss your team strategy BEFORE the match so you know where you're aiming Bronvina's Seduction instead of doing so while you're staring at the victory screen in ghost form.

Note, however, it goes without saying that if a cowardly rogue steps from the shadows looking for an easy score, Bronvina should be all over that mother like cherries on Nagrand dung piles regardless of your team strategy. If there's two or more of those invisible sons of felhounds, just suck your thumb or something. When your teammates get pissed that you broke strategy because of your classist hatred, threaten to stop giving them their precious Unending Breath buff before the match. That always shuts them up.

On to the action! FINALLY! Contrary to popular (other class) beliefs, crowd control is tricky business and takes some practice getting used to it. Normally we just need to DOT and blast things to smoldering piles of goo so finesse has never been much more than shampoo, but we're such good team players and willing teammates that we'll suffer virtually any indignity for the betterment of our group; including not... doing... any... damage... to... our... enemies... Yes, that was as painful to type as it was to read.

Now, ON TO THE ACTION for crying out loud! If you don't have this macro set up yet, do so now: http://forums.wow-europe.com/thread.html?topicId=276808148&sid=1&pageNo=1

Once you have that macro you can fairly easily and successfully seduce an opponent. And that's all there is to it. What, you want more? Here's more: use your frickin Felhunter or Felguard in PVP.

PVE

You'll likely only use Bronvina in groups where you're the only form of crowd control, so, almost never.

Well, that should take care of all the times you'll want to take Bronvina out for a spin. Savor her Lashes of Pain and Soothing Kisses because that's pretty much all she's good for. But by all means, feel free to disagree.


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