Ritual of Chaos - PVP Guides: Wintergrasp

By: Damian Lampl - 9/4/2009 2:01:31 AM

Wintergrasp - 100k Health
Only 17 tenacity? They're slacking off.

So you've finally dinged level 50.  Time to hit up some Wintergrasp, huh?  Wait, no, even locks shouldn't be that guy.  So you've finally dinged 51.  Time to hit up some Wintergrasp, huh?  What's in it for the aspiring lock unafraid of a few (thousand) deaths in the span of twenty minutes?  Aside from cannons, the epic feel of storming or defending a castle, cannons, being the best zone in the game for farming ore/herbs/elementals, cannons, siege vehicles, cannons, epic shard/marks gear rewards, cannons, and being able to blow things up with CANNONS, Wintergrasp has beautiful scenery this time of year.  Nice flowers.

There's two basic strategies in Wintergrasp: attacking and defending.  Don't worry, despite needing a degree in Astrophysics to follow along, it won't get more complicated than that.  And there'll be no math in case rogues or mages feel like skimming through their superior class' notes.  Everyone ready?  Yes?  Damn.  I'll wait until you're not.

Defending

If you're a good lock, you're lazy, so when you queued up you're already in Dalaran and standing right next to the portal but you don't jump through.  Why?  Portals are for pansies.  Wait, it's somehow not completely accepted common knowledge that pansy is a synonym for mage.  Portals are for mages.  That means we don't take kindly to them because they looked at us funny this one time when we were out strolling around with two buckets of troll's blood, fifteen murloc corpses on a string, a 2x4, and a fire extinguisher so we totally swore they all have demon-envy and we'd never eat their delicious strudels again.

Once you're summoned into the keep by game mechanics that have nothing to do with portals, you'll be hit with immediate lag while 100 other lazy souls who just did the same thing as you (although for much less credible reasons) appear in the exact spot from which you're currently trying to run.  Don't move too far!  Some kindly druid will slap everyone on the face with three big pink and black paws.  It's awesome, really, and one of those sheep...er... priests will hopefully pray for your lost soul, giving you some much needed health before you're killed in the next two seconds.  But don't expect an INT buff because if there's a rare mage willing to brave the Spirit Healer, he's selfish with his intellect and has himself fooled into believing he's smarter than the rest of the raid because he's the only one with his buff.  WE'RE ON TO YOU PANSIES.  Luckily that shaman over there was hanging out with those fat walruses earlier today so she caught a ton of fish (how she got them away from the gluttonous flippers of those mustached-longtooths no one will ever know) and prepared a nice meal to grub so you'll barely be able to move around and kill stuff because you're so full.  Thanks, shammy!

Now that you're buffed up (as if locks can be more buff, right?), it's time to check out all the gear upgrades that can be yours for the low, low price of going through this same ordeal 10,000 more times while the lemmings sprint for a cannon or head down south to take out the towers.  As if THAT ever brings a win.  Morons.

The crazy orc (no idea what you humans get instead of an orc) sitting on the really huge elephant in the northeast corner of the main courtyard of the keep actually has some really good gear.  Definitely worth the effort if you're a solo-special lock (even though ALL locks are equally "special") or if you're looking for a one-off filler for your almost-complete raid set.  And don't tell anyone else, but you can actually steal that huge frickin elephant from the crazy orc for a mere 300 Stone Keeper's Shards!

After looking at all the gear that will be obsolete by the time you hit 80 (you're still 51, remember), you don't have to bother figuring out which NPCs have the weekly quests or beg your raid to share the "dailies" just to see the backlash that, "THEY'RE WEEKLY NOW, NOOB!  L2P!"  But if you WERE high enough level, there's excellent honor and Stone Keeper's Shard rewards for winning, killing 10 schmoes, defending people movers, looting enemy corpses (or more easily, elemental corpses after the match), and... oh.  Look at that.  I guess those morons that went down south had a reason to take out the towers after all.  Maybe there's something to it, who knew?  If you complete all the quests in a given week, you can expect about 15,000 honor and more Stone Keeper's Shards than a stone keeper could carry if a stone keeper could carry Stone Keeper's Shards.  Read it again, it'll make sense.

By this time the raid leader is freaking out, "OMG! EVERYONE BACK TO THE KEEP!"  Well, genius, you're already there and poised to do what you do best: die a lot.  Forget tactics.  At this point it's all about dropping Rain of Fire on anything and everything that tries to bust through that wall.  If you're lucky, you have a healer slapping HOTs on you so you can just tap and rain, tap and rain, tap and rain, until twenty minutes is up (thanks, morons taking out the towers), ten minutes to Wapner, you die, or you lose.  Either way, it's epic fun.

Attacking

Since we already know you're too lazy to fly over to the zone yourself, you'll be summoned to your respective starting point, again with the 100 other lazies.  If you're Alliance, you end up somewhere in Crystalsong Forest.  No, Onyxia's lair?  Hell, nobody cares where Alliance start anyway.  Horde, you start out on the western border.  There's a flight path, all those crazy NPCs you were running around the keep trying not to find for the quests, and a tree.

What you need to do: follow the mob of toons.  Someone knows what they're doing and they already have a siege engine.  Jump in the gunner's seat and slowly roll on up toward the keep, careful not to spam your "1" key too much, lest you get disconnected by the time you actually get into range to damage anything, provoking so many f-bombs the Department of Defense just sent out a helicopter to shine a spotlight on your apartment window, forcing more f-bombs at the glare on your glossy 15" CRT and a sudden insatiable craving for meatloaf.  MA!  THE MEATLOAF!  F---!

Once you're in range of their towers, bombard them.  Or for those looking for a more in-depth strategy, once you're in range of their towers, bombard them.  Your driver will be pounding the wall down while you're wasting their defenses.  Keep blasting the tower until it's destroyed, then aim for the walls.  Pending how many of your teammates also know what they're doing, you might not make it through the first wall before they destroy your slower-than-a-turtle-mount siege engine.  That's ok.  There's a REALLY good mechanic nearby if you stand around a flag outside his shop.  He's able to snap his fingers and create a new vehicle for you on the spot.  It's nothing short of miraculous.

Rinse, repeat.

Good Demolisher drivers, take heed: you can park your ride pretty far away from the main objective wall and blast the saronite off it before the defenders even know what's going on.  Then all it takes is some brave soul to ride in on their mount once you've taken out an exterior wall and touch the shiny globe (what?) FTW.

Winning

"But, Damian," your voice cracks, "you said there wasn't any math.  Which of the two strategies is winning?"  You're right, in most worlds 1+1=2.  Good job, here's a cookie.  Winning is the GOAL, it's not a strategy.  Keep up, ok?  Frickin rogues.  Go flog a mage.  Wait, they like that.  Go one-shot a mage.

Well, you've won.  Somehow you and 119 other toons managed to blast down enough saronite to touch a shiny globe (what?) or blew up some towers and kept your walls standing long enough to protect said shiny globe (what?).  Now you've cleared out the scrappy suicide kings attempting to run for the portal in order to avoid the punishment of defeat that is death-by-three-raids so you can loot more Stone Keeper's Shards (/golfclap) and take advantage of what really counts, that 5% XP bonus to get you from 51 to 52 FIVE PERCENT MORE QUICKLY.  Oh yeah, it SO pays to win.

There's also a dungeon you can PUG with your fellow raiders... oh, wait.  Everyone just left.  Never mind.

Losing

Get used to it.  As with battlegrounds, just make sure you're the guy in the raid to yell out to everyone, "You all suck!" because you're THAT much more awesome than your entire server.

After making your prowess known and leaving your raid, now's your chance to wallow in defeat by killing the elementals for some unknown reason an NPC wants you to loot even though he's ALWAYS there in Wintergrasp and not, like, saving the world and stuff like YOU clearly are.  Or you can fly back to Dalaran or up to the Argent Tournament and poke things with sticks while on horseback.  Decisions, decisions...


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