Ritual of Chaos - ChaosCon 2009

By: Damian Lampl - 8/26/2009 12:36:09 PM

ChaosCon
BlizzCon has been taken over...

Not attending BlizzCon is bittersweet. Conventions suck balls. Large clumps of human mass spewing noise and stench in every possible direction. No. Escape.

On the other hand, BlizzCon is a large clump of human mass put on by BLIZZARD. These guys don't know how to do anything second-rate. And not only do they have tons of exciting (at least for nerds like you) news and updates for the best franchise and game ever created, they also have the same exciting (man, you really are a NERD) news and information on all their other big properties - i.e. Diablo and StarCraft. Sure you could purchase the DirecTV feed or live stream, but if you're not going to nut up and brave the horror that is thousands of crazed video game fans, it's just not the same experience.

That said, it's the times they break out the best changes to our favorite class that make a person wish they were there to bask in the rage of every other class flipping out over what could quite possibly be THE GREATEST MOMENT IN THE HISTORY OF WARLOCKS SINCE GUL'DAN THOUGHT UP DEATH KNIGHTS.

Of course, even though it was officially announced at Blizzard's own self-promotional hoo-rah session, it's not a guarantee to actually happen. But if it does??? There's three whole question marks right there to incite your curiosity.

Now things could totally change by the time Cataclysm is scheduled to go live, but this could be the beginning of the Return of the Warlock (coming to a theater near you).

Before we get to the reason my laptop is now on the table instead of resting on my lap due to the uncomfortable balancing act caused by the sudden bulge in my pants upon reading our class notes as reported on WoW.com, let's go over some of the other welcomed proposed changes.

First up is the Soul Shard mechanic. No longer do they take up bag space. There was a point where this alone would have been cause for the afore-used triple question mark (it's only broken out in xXXXxTreeeemee situations). As it sits, however, this is practically an afterthought. Make no mistake, this is something that's been needed to be addressed for a long time. Nine of ten warlocks would have been happy with a simple stacking ability, even if stacks were limited to five. So it's actually an incredible change.

Just on the heels of that bombshell, we learn the reason: Soul Shards are now apparently going to work similar to Death Knight runes. They will supposedly show up on the UI and currently there exist up to three at a time. Using one burns a cooldown so they almost sound as if they're similar to trinkets as well and they're only going to be used in combat, regenerating "quickly" out of combat. It's important to note that NO spells will require Soul Shards. Read it again. NO SPELLS WILL REQUIRE SOUL SHARDS. Shadowburn is now shard-free.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! Unless you're a mage, you likely inferred from the previous paragraph that the mechanic changes also mean summoning demons no longer requires a Soul Shard! With two exclamation points in this paragraph already and one on the way, it should be apparent there's no explanation needed for this incredible change!

While you've been reading this I've already been through two, count 'em, TWO underwear changes; and I don't even wear underwear!

As it sits right now they're planning to have the Soul Shard mechanics enhance most spells in some way. So what does it all mean for spells you never use, like Soul Fire? Instant. Cast. Yep, you blow a cooldown but in return you bypass a SIX-second cast-time. This is just like Presence of Mind for pansies/mages where they're able to nuke unsuspecting souls with instant POM-Pyroblasts. Soul Fire has literally never been on my action bar; banished to spell book hell. With its current six-year cast time, a rogue could destroy me fourteen times with the obligatory rezz and corpse run in between before the spell's animation comes to fruition. It would be very surprising if they left the damage output unchanged. This will almost certainly have to be a nerf, but we can definitely hope not.

Up to this point you've languished through some pretty incredible locksents. What? Locksents. Presents for locks. Geeze, keep up with the imaginary terminology. Your appetite is whet (although not as wet as my pants again; THIRD underwear change in ONE post... it's gotta be some kind of record) for what can only be described as the most awesomely awesome awesomeness ever awesomed. What could possibly be that awesome? Well, besides me, of course? Two words: INSTANT FEAR. Do you truly understand the gravity of awesomeness we're dealing with here? Let me demonstrate...

INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR. INSTANT FEAR.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

INSTANT.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FEAR.


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